i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So drunk its hurt
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
