Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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