Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
