I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
