She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
