Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
