respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
