i barfeds in our rink
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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