Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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