We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
