We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize