im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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