I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
