I didn't shave. On purpose
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
