So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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