Someone shit on the floor
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
