What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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