I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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