NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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