this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
