ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize