i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize