In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
