It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
