Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
