I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
