1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
