Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
