Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
