Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just tell him i said nine months
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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