dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
