Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Vodka?
Forever.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize