Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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