i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
wow bdsm is so cute
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
