I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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