I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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