lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize