I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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