guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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