Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
