I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
