No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
