The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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