Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
