he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize