Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
