who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
