that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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