Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
