Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
