I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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