I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
