Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
