My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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