fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
