hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize