I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
high people should be assigned attendants
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This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
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having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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