I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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