you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
