Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am spending my child support on dildos
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Randomize
