i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
