I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize